Saturday, April 10, 2010

Saying Sorry

Have you ever noticed how hard it can be?

The simple act of apologizing to someone... It's painful. It's admitting to being wrong, making a mistake, hurting someone. And who wants to 'fess up to that?

And OH how important is the sincerity? How many times do we say to our kids (or did we hear from our parents) "Apologize to your brother/sister right now!" Does that flippant, gruff "sorry" muttered under the breath really make anyone feel better?

I can be exceptionally harsh. It's not that I'm a cruel person, but I find myself being short with others. Perhaps my expectations are to high, or my fuse just to short. I'm not the only one in this position, either, thank heavens, but I find myself speaking in unpleasant tones, or using unkind words, simply having little patience for people.

Most often those people are my loved ones - my husband, or my kids. Even as adults, my brothers and I love a good argument. You know, the people that I live with, share my life with. Bummer.

I hate being wrong. I'm not very good at it, and spend a lot of my professional life showing people resources that back up what I've told them. Because of the complex nature of my job, I rarely will make what I even call  an "educated guess" - if I don't know something with certainty, I will refer to the aforementioned resources and find an answer.

But what is the resource you turn to with parenting? Or with relationships?

I don't have a book to grab, or a website to pull up,  that clearly spells out how to handle situations. And I'm left trying to figure it out as I go along. And yep, sometimes, I'm wrong. Way more often than I want to be. Sometimes, I don't believe I am wrong, but others think that I am. Other times, I'm right, and I'm a bit... overzealous in how I prove my point.

Sorry is a word that can mend broken bridges, it can heal broken hearts. It also can stick in your throat like peanut butter, or be rejected by the receiver. That fear of rejection may be the biggest obstacle I face in apologizing, but the act of apologizing, and truly meaning it, that brings a freedom to my heart that has otherwise been bound.

Do you have someone you owe an apology to? I know I do.

We never know what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps today is the day that you should say you're sorry.

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