Thursday, May 13, 2010

Warning! Not for the weak of stomach!

Because, well, I’m gonna talk about weak stomachs.

Vomiting, to be specific.

Let’s face it, folks. As parents, we see our fair share. Stomach bugs make the rounds through the house, and we do three times the normal laundry loads.

Some parents are bless with the “fit-throwers”  - the ones that cry themselves into such a frenzy that they make themselves sick. On the living room rug.

Me? My puker throws up from migraines. The good news is, he (now) usually knows it’s coming, and just hangs out in the bathroom. This was not always the case. Frequently, the vomiting came in the bed. More often than not, that was MY bed.


I popped on to Twitter Wednesday night, and there was a whole little upchuck conversation going on. Seems there could be a stomach bug going around out there in some blog-land households. This discussion led into some of the most “awkward vomiting moment” stories- allow me to share some highlights: (No names, to protect the innocent, but you girls know who you are!)

“You don’t have bunk beds do U? It is the worst when top kid pukes in bed, down wall, on bottom bunk, runs under bed & floorboards”

Yes, I imagine it is the worst. We have bunk beds. Thanks for ruining THAT for me!

But, it goes on!

How about watching my son throw up at Home Depot & feel glad at wasn’t at home on my rug? Is that bad?”

Nope. At least, I hope not. ‘Cause I’d be right there with ya! (That mom went on to mention how she bought buckets to handle the car ride home. She’s a thinker!)

Then, there was this:

“Sprout got sick while sitting on my lap on the couch (Ugh!) and Cubbie did right while eating dinner!”

Bummer! Neither location is ideal. I mean, I realize that the only “ideal” place is kneeling before the throne, but short of that, there’s outside in the yard, in the bathtub, or while standing on any vinyl flooring surface. Couches, carpet, well-dressed momma’s – NOT ideal.

So, I tweeted the highlights of my child’s public vomit moment- And Now: The Rest Of The Story! (And no. Not "good day” – not at all.)

I had just gotten off work and picked the crew up from the day care. I needed to get some supplies for a project I was working on, so we stopped in at the Office Depot on the way home.

Two things. That was it. I needed one of those science fair display boards, and glue dots to stick things to it. Should have been 5 minutes, in and out. Except there were a number of helpful people. We hit the front doors and I grabbed a cart to keep the little people under control. Helpful Person #1 - “Hi ma’am, can I help you find anything?” I had it under control, thanks, I’m off for a few aisles back. By the third aisle, there was Helpful Person #2 - “Afternoon ma’am, are you finding everything ok?” Yep, I’m good, 2 more aisles and there’s the display boards, located just past Helpful Person #3. Display board into the cart next to E & M, J is sitting in the actual seat part. About this point, he looks at me and says “My head hurts.”


Ok, glue dots and we’re gone. This should be no big deal. And there’s pain reliever in the glove box. Let’s rock. I clear the aisle, head towards where glue dots should be, there’s #3 again. “I need some glue dots!” He points me to them, and I grab a couple packages and make a beeline for a checkout.

With 5 yards to go, I see the sign. I’m to late.

J proceeds to start vomiting. My mom instincts kick in.

I catch.

He just.keeps.vomiting.

I’m now holding a large quantity of vomit. It’s running down my front. And, Lord help me, it’s in my shoes. J’s crying, and I can’t even comfort him. All I can do is stand, in the middle of a store I’ve been in for 3.62 minutes, where three people have offered me assistance, one more than once, in this short span, and not ONE is anywhere to be seen.

There’s no one at a register. There’s no one in an aisle. Suddenly, this place is a ghost town. So I do what any self respecting woman would do.

I start yelling.

It took a minute, but #3 poked his head around a corner eventually. I requested a trash can, and some paper towels. He looked at me funny for a minute, and then the reality of the situation struck him, and he was off. Apparently, at the Office Depot, paper towels are kept 2 states over. Or at least that’s how it feels when you’re standing there with your hands (and shoes) filled with vomit.

Thanks to the help of #3, I got cleaned up enough to check out, and loaded everyone into the car. I drove home barefoot. And took the longest, hottest shower ever.

Tag! You’re it! What was your most horrific “Weak Stomach” moment?

Momsense Signature


  1. thankfully, we haven't had many puking moments. my daughter puked one time in the middle of the night around 9 months old. never woke up. so by the time morning rolled around, it was all dried and smelling. THAT was awesome!

  2. I am so sorry what horrible vomit tale...I am so lucky buggy boy is that kid who hates to vomit and will try so hard not to...BUT my best friends little one is 2 1/2 with the super weak gag reflex...He has puked on my in 3 public places....ugh

  3. So yuck!!

    My worst puke incident happened only a few months ago! I use to count myself lucky since we never had a stomach bug. But boy oh boy did we get into this year. We had it twice so far in 3 months.

    So hubs was flying to sunny Cali in January and we were driving with my mom to my MIL for her bday. So we are driving in traffic and I her the dread bleh bleh bleh. What??? The girlie is throwing up in the car. Yuck. She did so a few more times. It took me forever to pull of the highway we were on and find a store. My mom ran in and got baby wipes and paper towels. It was everywhere, all over her, the car and her carseat. Oh and by the way it was freezing out! We are standing outside trying to clean her and the car. I wanted to cry. Not fun not at all!!

  4. Not a mom, but Megan can attest to my many years of babysitting. Staying with two kids overnight while parents were out of town (two states away!). Stopped at McDs after picking the kids up from school and little boy didn't eat anything (note...again, not a mom and didn't pick up on this vital clue until it was too late). Next off to the sock-hop at the girl's school where I don't know anyone. Sister finally is able to get her brother out to dance with her who had been moping around, I thought because he missed his parents. Nope! All of the sudden vomit is going everywhere on the dance floor. Sister and I start dragging him to the nearest bathroom which turns out to be no where near the gym. Whew. Not the highlight of my babysitting career.

  5. Oh my, with 6 kids, we have had too many public pukes! We recently experienced the top bunk bed puke as well...the one where the daughter on the top bunk pukes on the kid on the bottom bunk and it goes in the toy boxes being stored under the bottom bunk, yeah, NOT FUN! When jordan was little, we were walking through Wal-Mart. He looked at me and just let it fly, it was EVERYWHERE, and like always at walmart, no one to be found. We stood there until he was done, still no one around, I was a single young mom and did not want to wait any longer, so we left, didn't stop to tell a sole (now that I'm older, I realize how wrong that was, but I was 18!). Just last week, I took my 4 year old to school to register for Kindergarten. She had been complaining of a tummy ache all morning, but she is always complaining about something (she's my drama queen), well, we walked in to the front office and she puked all over the only rug in there. Not one drop on the tile, nope, only on the rug. Thankfully, it's a school, and they have a person dedicated to only cleaning puke, and he is really good at it (ok, he does more than that, but I had 3 kids this past week throw up in that school and the school smells good, so he is really good at it, LOL)

  6. My son (4 at the time)woke me up in the middle of the night and said he felt sick. As I was trying to get out of bed he vomited ON MY FACE.

    ahhh memories....