Because, well, I’m gonna talk about weak stomachs.
Vomiting, to be specific.
Let’s face it, folks. As parents, we see our fair share. Stomach bugs make the rounds through the house, and we do three times the normal laundry loads.
Some parents are bless with the “fit-throwers” - the ones that cry themselves into such a frenzy that they make themselves sick. On the living room rug.
Me? My puker throws up from migraines. The good news is, he (now) usually knows it’s coming, and just hangs out in the bathroom. This was not always the case. Frequently, the vomiting came in the bed. More often than not, that was MY bed.
I popped on to Twitter Wednesday night, and there was a whole little upchuck conversation going on. Seems there could be a stomach bug going around out there in some blog-land households. This discussion led into some of the most “awkward vomiting moment” stories- allow me to share some highlights: (No names, to protect the innocent, but you girls know who you are!)
“You don’t have bunk beds do U? It is the worst when top kid pukes in bed, down wall, on bottom bunk, runs under bed & floorboards”
Yes, I imagine it is the worst. We have bunk beds. Thanks for ruining THAT for me!
But, it goes on!
“How about watching my son throw up at Home Depot & feel glad at wasn’t at home on my rug? Is that bad?”
Nope. At least, I hope not. ‘Cause I’d be right there with ya! (That mom went on to mention how she bought buckets to handle the car ride home. She’s a thinker!)
Then, there was this:
“Sprout got sick while sitting on my lap on the couch (Ugh!) and Cubbie did right while eating dinner!”
Bummer! Neither location is ideal. I mean, I realize that the only “ideal” place is kneeling before the throne, but short of that, there’s outside in the yard, in the bathtub, or while standing on any vinyl flooring surface. Couches, carpet, well-dressed momma’s – NOT ideal.
So, I tweeted the highlights of my child’s public vomit moment- And Now: The Rest Of The Story! (And no. Not "good day” – not at all.)
I had just gotten off work and picked the crew up from the day care. I needed to get some supplies for a project I was working on, so we stopped in at the Office Depot on the way home.
Two things. That was it. I needed one of those science fair display boards, and glue dots to stick things to it. Should have been 5 minutes, in and out. Except there were a number of helpful people. We hit the front doors and I grabbed a cart to keep the little people under control. Helpful Person #1 - “Hi ma’am, can I help you find anything?” I had it under control, thanks, I’m off for a few aisles back. By the third aisle, there was Helpful Person #2 - “Afternoon ma’am, are you finding everything ok?” Yep, I’m good, 2 more aisles and there’s the display boards, located just past Helpful Person #3. Display board into the cart next to E & M, J is sitting in the actual seat part. About this point, he looks at me and says “My head hurts.”
Ok, glue dots and we’re gone. This should be no big deal. And there’s pain reliever in the glove box. Let’s rock. I clear the aisle, head towards where glue dots should be, there’s #3 again. “I need some glue dots!” He points me to them, and I grab a couple packages and make a beeline for a checkout.
With 5 yards to go, I see the sign. I’m to late.
J proceeds to start vomiting. My mom instincts kick in.
I’m now holding a large quantity of vomit. It’s running down my front. And, Lord help me, it’s in my shoes. J’s crying, and I can’t even comfort him. All I can do is stand, in the middle of a store I’ve been in for 3.62 minutes, where three people have offered me assistance, one more than once, in this short span, and not ONE is anywhere to be seen.
There’s no one at a register. There’s no one in an aisle. Suddenly, this place is a ghost town. So I do what any self respecting woman would do.
I start yelling.
It took a minute, but #3 poked his head around a corner eventually. I requested a trash can, and some paper towels. He looked at me funny for a minute, and then the reality of the situation struck him, and he was off. Apparently, at the Office Depot, paper towels are kept 2 states over. Or at least that’s how it feels when you’re standing there with your hands (and shoes) filled with vomit.
Thanks to the help of #3, I got cleaned up enough to check out, and loaded everyone into the car. I drove home barefoot. And took the longest, hottest shower ever.
Tag! You’re it! What was your most horrific “Weak Stomach” moment?