Tuesday, August 3, 2010


I’m struggling today. My heart is heavy, and I am afraid, but I’m not sure of what, exactly.

Maybe it’s just that it’s overcast – the sky is grey and feels heavy.

Perhaps it’s the ongoing battles with my oldest. He’s so smart, and can be so sweet, and so good, but his temper is fiery, and his tongue is sharp. I don’t think he thinks about how badly his words can sting.

I’m stressed out. It’s all the normal stuff, money, time, work, etc. We’ve got some issues with the house that we’ve tried to ignore (like they’re just going to go away or something) that we realistically cannot continue to ignore.

I’m working my way through some personal decisions – things with my job, my Avon business, some church stuff. Nothing over the top, just little things, but my own lack of motivation is compounding them.

I am my own worst enemy – I am self-defeated before anyone else has the chance to beat me down. I look around my house, and see the chaos and mess, and I quit before I start. I look at the pile of work on my desk, and close my eyes.

And it’s stupid. All of it. Because I know that I am a strong, capable, powerful person. I’m good at what I do, and I love what I do, where my job is concerned. I’m not a perfect parent, but my children are healthy, loved and have a safe place to sleep at night, along with more crap than they know what to do with. I have a husband who loves me, and our children. I’m surrounded by family and friends, who I know would do anything in their power to help me.

But, stupid or not.

I’m feeling a little defeated today.

Maybe even a lot.

Momsense Signature


  1. Hang in there! I get like that every once in a while, when everything seems to pile up and overwhelm me.

  2. I too have felt that way lately. (Lately for me has lasted a good 9 months though.) (I lost my Dad about 9 months ago...) Life is hard. Kids are hard. Money. Parenting. Ah...I could go on. Good luck to you and I hope you're able to pull yourself up quickly!

  3. Hang in there!! One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, all that good stuff. Most importantly - tomorrow will be a better day!

  4. Keep the faith you will get through this all! Keep your head up and take it one step at a time. I hope your week gets better!

  5. Sounds like you need a new cat to snuggle! ;)

    (Just kidding!!)

  6. I will say a prayer for you I felt this way last week some times life wears us down...Hope you are in better spirits soon

  7. I am with you my dear! I feel this way often, and I just can't put my finger on it at times. The world can be a tough place, and spiritual battle is all around us. I will be praying for you. Thanks for your brutal honesty. It's so refreshing.

  8. I am right there with you...actually almost everything...You know what I did? I wrote a post about my simple joys, made me feel much better. Lifes a coller coaster, most of the time I just want off to go on a nice lazy river ride. Hope things work out...they normally do!

  9. Sounds like where I am.

    I'm praying for you, my treasured friend.


  10. You are so not alone! I have been getting this way alot lately. I try my best to just break my day down into small pieces. Tackling little bits here and there.

    Keep your chin up :0)

  11. Megan it as if you plucked a page right out of my life, thou my circumstances are different I am feeling very much the same way lately.
    Praying for you friend.