What Matters?

One of the things that I am lucky enough to get to do at this stage in my life is give back. These days, it's even occasionally able to be financially. For a lot of years, my ability to give was primarily of my time. I didn't always have extra cash to donate to a cause I believed in, but by golly I could volunteer my heart out.

This is not to toot my own horn, let me be clear, but I wanted you to have a touch of background before I got into the next part.

I had an exchange recently about an event that was coming up. Some new information had come up about the event, and I felt a little disheartened because I knew that there was going to be a group that would have limitations around this last minute change. It was not anything that was going to diminish what was happening, or take away from the joy that that group would get to experience, but the change could have allowed for an even greater sense of community, but because it was so last minute there was no time to adjust.

I was bummed. The idea of community was a real root to the entire activity. I mentioned my disappointment on a social media site, and I got a response that reminded me of how differently people view certain things. 

The response I received was very much from a place of privilege. A lack of understanding. I'm not entirely sure, for all I know it could have even been a place of disdain, but I like to hope that it was just misunderstanding.

Sometime ago I had a post show up in social media that was an image, a wooden picket fence that had been spray painted with the words "It shouldn't have to happen to you for it to matter to you." It's stuck with me, because there are a bounty of problems, or things I view as problems, that have never been my personal problem, but that are real and valid for others.

We're a pretty knee-jerk reaction society. Big on instant gratification. We want information, we go to the internet. We want something to eat, we go to the drive-thru. We have become very accustomed to having what we want or need very quickly. Not everyone has that same privilege. Not every household has access to the internet. Not every family has a car to take them to a drive-thru, or money to spend if they were to get there. Not every home is "traditional" (in my definition of traditional- knowing that traditions also cast a wide net!). That doesn't invalidate the experiences of the people who live in that home.

I want to encourage you to look beyond your own personal experiences, and really see those around you. We have opportunities to learn from one another all the time, but we're so busy defending our personal reality that we fail to acknowledge the reality of someone else. Be open to differences, be receptive to information, and be willing to understand that your own lived experience does not negate the lived experience of your neighbor anymore than their experiences negate yours. 

One of the most effective ways I was able to open my own mind and heart to the experiences of those around me was to give my time and spend it with my neighbors. If you have opportunities to volunteer, or give back, or just spend some time listening and learning within your community, I can't encourage you enough to jump all over those.

Blessed Be. 

Do Our Best Work

Reading messages from my children's teachers, who technically are on break right now, but are scrambling to restructure. This is spring break here, but they have asked teachers to transition to eLearning for the week after. This is new - we are not a school system that has used eLearning historically, so teachers, administrators, and students are all flying a bit by the seat of their pants. 

In one of these emails, this stood out.

"Let’s be flexible with each other and do our best to work through this time in the most efficient and reasonable ways possible."

This literally hit my inbox as I work on a message to share with my staff on what our ideas look like for how to handle the next several weeks.

Right now, I have a deadline in one month. 

It *might* change, but I can't count on that.

In the meantime, I have offices of employees and clients to worry about. I now am carrying the burden of both financial AND physical well-being, on some level. 

It's heavy. I'd be lying if I said differently. I'm not carrying these things alone, by any stretch, but here they are.

So, as we all navigate these bizarre, uncharted waters, as we watch Italy and Spain stop in their tracks, as we scramble as a country to gain access to proper testing, as a divided nation grows more so in a time when supporting one another is SO critical, I think I will cling to two things - the words of this teacher:

"Let’s be flexible with each other and do our best to work through this time in the most efficient and reasonable ways possible."

Along with the words of one of the best managers I had an opportunity to work under:

"The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us." 

We are powerful when we work together. I'm grateful for that.

Intentional

The last few years have held some life-changing experiences for my circle. Some have been amazing - my oldest got to take a fantastic trip to England with a school group. My middle was recognized by a film festival held at the United Nations. My youngest discovered a passion for running that she didn't know she had, and ended her cross country season with a first place finish in her class. From these things, each of my children have explored new things, stepped outside of their comfort zones. They've learned, and grown and experienced, and that is so valuable.

We've also seen some heartbreak. Two friends lost their husbands to cancer within just a few months of one another. We've faced some fears and obstacles getting to the point we're at with J's pituitary mass, and (finally!) next week we'll get to meet with the neurosurgeon to determine what's next. My stepmother lost her mom unexpectedly a few weeks ago.

I keep being reminded that things can change in a heartbeat. That in a brief moment, everything we know to be true could be different. 

This isn't new, or original. Lots of us have felt this way at times in our lives. We use these opportunities to become intentional. I am intentionally listening more closely to my kids and my spouse. I am intentionally taking a few extra minutes to laugh and give my dogs belly rubs. I am intentionally pausing for two or three minutes to take a few deep breaths and re-center myself in the midst of a busy day. I am intentionally making appointments to see my doctor. We're looking at vacations, and spending time together as a family. 

I'm being intentional. 

So often we get swept up in the day-to-day. I won't go so far as to say we're "just trying to survive" but it feels that way at times. We become almost robotic in our actions - the alarm goes off, and the routine kicks in. Not that there is anything wrong with routine, mind you, but sometimes, we need to go off script. We need to share an ice cream and conversation with a kiddo. We need to call a loved one and chat for 20 minutes. We need to take a few minutes to stand in the sun - eyes closed, face turned up, breathing deeply. Try and find a way to make some of that part of your routine. Pick what works for you - a coffee date, a short walk, shoot, I even just use a Sudoku app on my phone for an occasional brain break. Just remember to reach out to others around you, take care of yourself, and be intentional. 

Where I Stand

This is a post I placed on my personal FB page, and I wanted to share it here. I am currently living in a country that in one breath declares it is the greatest in the world, and in the next breath tries to tear each other apart. We reached a deep divide over a period of a couple of days, and I watched from the sidelines as friends lashed out at one another, and strangers were cruel. Here were the thoughts I shared: 

Everyone has opinions, just on the off chance you haven't looked at your FB for the last, oh, 10 days or so.
Everyone (EVERYONE.) is entitled to those opinions.
You don't have to agree with theirs, and they don't have to agree with yours.
Voicing opinions is allowed. Understand that sometimes, voicing an opinion has consequences. Be prepared, if you elect to voice your opinion, for consequences.
Attacking one another - verbally, physically, cyber..ly? (You know what I mean.) is NOT OK. It's just not.
Some of you have voiced opinions that differ from mine. I hope at no time have ANY of you felt attacked, belittled or undermined by me.
I have quietly avoided posting much in regards to my opinions because unfortunately, some of you have either lashed out or had others lash out at you. It's hurtful, and I have no room in my heart for hurt, certainly not because I choose to share a thought or opinion.
Here's where I stand.
I stand for love.
I stand for respect.
I stand for honor.
I stand for my fellow man.
I stand so I can lift up, not knock down.
I stand so I can support, not be carried.
I stand for my children.
I stand for my spouse.
I stand for my siblings, my parents, my cousins, my family.
I stand for my path in this world.
I stand for you.
Even if we don't agree. Even if you won't stand for me. I stand for you.

That's where I stand.

On Giving Up and Giving Back

I shared a few days ago about how much I miss this space, but how difficult it has been to find words. My heart just wasn’t in it, I had quit. I wanted to be passionate about it, and I wasn’t anymore.

That’s hard for me to admit, because if there is anything I am not, a quitter is pretty much right there at the top of the list. I’m an adapter. A “roll with the punches” kind of person. Maybe it (whatever “it” is) isn’t going how I planned – no worries. Plan B. Or F. Or LL. I learned a long time ago that planning has value, but flexibility has MORE value. Know what your end goal is, but understand that the path to get there is NOT a straight line, no matter how hard you try.

So this “quitting” thing? It’s really not sat very well with me.

Part of my quit, I think, came from not having that end goal. There is no end goal with this space. It’s the best “roll with it” scenario I could have given myself! It’s MINE! I can do what I want to! I’m not here to make money, I don’t have a bunch of affiliate connections, I’ve got a few ads on here with the idea that maybe I’ll have a little income to cover the cost of my domain, but this isn’t a full time job or anything. I don’t promote the space because, well, it’s mine. It’s public, and sometimes I feel like I’ve written something that folks might want to read. Sometimes I write things that are important to me, and that I want others to know about. In general though? This is my space. It’s about me. It’s a place where I can share things that need more that 140 characters. I can document our lives a little, and one day the kids can look  back and share in some of the memories with me.  But there is no “end goal” – no target for hits per day. No revenue goals. Not even a posts per week goal.

With no goals, no guidelines, I didn’t have the focus to be here. To write here. I was so focused on doing other things, I lost the focus I needed to maintain this piece of me.

I’m not sad about it though. Really, this is just another step along the way, and my focus was in good places. I’ve been working, leading our elementary PTO, participating in charity events, and enjoying my family. We’ve travelled a little, visited some. I lost my grandfather, but celebrated an amazing man with people I love. I barely mentioned it, but a year ago, my 10 year old daughter and I participated in  St. Baldrick’s event and raised over $6,500 for pediatric cancer.

I’ve given. Time and again, I’ve given. I am not in a position to always give monetarily, but let me tell you something really, REALLY important.

It’s not always about the money.

More often than not, those folks you want to help? The group you want to support? They just need a little of your time. Can you work a school carnival booth? FANTASTIC. Your 30 minutes means the kids can play the games. Can you type? That group needs someone to put together some thank you letters to volunteers and donors. Clip Box Tops & such. Photocopy handouts for a teacher. Chaperone a field trip. Work a Book Fair. Read with students who are struggling readers. No kids in school? That’s ok – adopt a local elementary, they’ll likely adopt you right back.

Heart in other places? EMBRACE it. What can you do to help? Is there a family you know who is facing a challenge? Can you watch the kids for a couple hours so mom and dad get a break? Wash and vacuum the car? Come by and flip laundry, maybe sweep and mop the kitchen?

Volunteer at the food bank once a month. Offer to walk the dogs at the animal shelter. Visit the elderly – they may just need a friend.

Give back. Give of yourself. It doesn’t have to cost you a dime, but there is NOTHING that will fulfill you more.

I gave up a little here. I gave back in so many other places. I’m ok with that.

#SuitYourself and #YouSuitMe

Body image is such a difficult, personal thing. Women verbalize it more, but men face challenges as well. To compound the issue, we tend tear others down, especially when safely behind a keyboard and screen name. Somewhere along the way, society taught us that we will feel better knowing that someone feels worse.

I have a daughter who I am trying my DAMNEDEST to bring up to be strong in her confidence of herself. Having been what could generously be described as small my whole life, I know the feelings that my long, lean daughter might face. It crushed me the other morning when she came bouncing in to tell me what she weighed, and was excited because she had gained 3 pounds. I never, ever want her weight to be a focal point for her!

Many of you, my friends, are also raising kids. Let's work on teaching them 2 things -

First – that they are beautifully and wonderfully made. What some might perceive as flaws are an element of their design.  We are not all supposed to be the same (wouldn’t THAT be boring!?) and that they are loved, supported and fantastic, just like they are.

Second – that others around us are also beautiful and wonderful. Do your kids hear you laughing about someone’s appearance? Or making snide comments? Do you spend more time tearing others down or building them up? How do you talk about YOURSELF? Are you constantly focusing on a bulge, a bumpy area or a jiggly spot? What could you be saying (or NOT saying) that reaffirms for your kids that we’re all beautiful in our own, unique ways?

We’re entering the time of year where we all show a little more skin. Shorts, tank tops, and of course the dreaded swim suit. Here’s where we have the chance to make a difference.

An Atlanta-based radio morning show, The Bert Show, is kicking off summer with their second year of empowerment. They are encouraging us all to take a swimsuit selfie and post it – Instagram, Facebook, whatever, but be BOLD in knowing that you’re powerful, beautiful and confident. The hashtag being used is #SuitYourself. Read more about it here, and see how things went last year!

I want to go one step further. I want to follow that hashtag, and comment on as many of those folks as I can, sharing something I LOVE about each person’s picture. I encourage you to do the same – if not as part of the #SuitYourself campaign, just make it a practice to compliment someone every single day. You will feel far better knowing that you’ve made someone smile than you ever would tearing someone down.

I’m going to add my own hashtag to the mix here, and comment with #YouSuitMe – because you do. You are who you are, and you should ROCK that confidence!

So – #SuitYourself (link to your photo in the comments for me!) and tell others #YouSuitMe!

The Juggler

I haven’t blogged in what feels like a million years.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, it’s far more that I have so much to say, and not a lot of time to say it with. Add to that the fact that I feel like I’m apologizing every time I show up here because I haven’t blogged in forever, and it’s getting sort of lame! So, no apologies.

I’m not going to apologize for living in the moment over the last few months. And we’ve had some really, REALLY great moments!

We’ve been to Virginia & Florida, spent a lot of time with family, started school, started gymnastics, started football. We’ve run practically non-stop since the first of July, and we’ve loved it.

Right this very moment, however? The non-stop of it all is catching up with me. I’m exhausted, physically and emotionally. I’m overwhelmed, trying to keep my head above water. Classes, work, home, the kids, PTO stuff, I’m juggling a million little balls, and am scared to death I might drop one or two. Some of them are glass, and if they fall, they could shatter into a million irreparable pieces.

Luckily, most of them would just bounce, a few might dent a little, but the majority would survive the fall. The thing is, I don’t want to drop them. I love things about each of those balls I’m juggling, it’s why I picked them up to begin with.

This is the season that I am in, I guess. As we transition from the easy days of summer to the full days of fall, it’s just going to be harder. Certainly until I get back to a point where I can find my rhythm.

Because those balls in the air? They’ll stay that way, with the right rhythm.

A better me

I am a slacker.

Well, no, not really, I’m constantly busy doing a million different things, but typically those things are for other people.

I am a slacker when it comes to taking care of me.

I think, as moms, wives, shucks, just as WOMEN, we do this a lot to ourselves. We put so many other things in front of doing what we could to be good to ourselves.

My area of weakness? Personal health. Eating well, physical activity, generally taking care of myself physically.

I’m somewhat spoiled, because I’ve always been slender, and always been able to essentially eat what I want without gaining weight. That holds true for the most part now, as well, but what I’m noticing? Softness where I’d rather be firm. Weakness where I once was strong. Getting tired faster, where I was previously able to just keep going.

Part of this ties back to a back injury I had a few years ago. I had been in a really good place physically before that, but when I ruptured a disk, my whole world changed. Now, my core is weak (although better than it was), my upper body strength has faded, and I’m generally feeling pretty wimpy.

I don’t like it. I also have to recognize that it will not correct itself. 3 Musketeers bars and Cherry Cokes to survive a bad day won’t help. *DO NOT BE ALARMED. THIS IS NOT ABOUT TO BECOME A CRAZY FITNESS BLOG.* Why not? Because I’m realistic. Because I’m not a crazy fitness person. Because I’m a person who has days where a 3 Musketeers and a Cherry Coke may be my only lifeline to sanity. I don’t like to work out. I see people running, and I’m one of the ones who think “Only if I am being chased, and am certain that being caught will end up really bad.”  I don’t mind eating healthy, and that’s easier for me in the summer as fresh foods abound, but I love me some potato chips.

I also love being able to keep up with my kids, and going non-stop at the amusement park. I love feeling ok in a pair of shorts. I don’t love looking in the mirror and realizing that I have a muffin top. So, time to fix it. It’s time to work on being a better, healthier me. Not fixated on health, but refocused. Making choices based on what’s right, not what’s easy, and taking some time for me.

Pity Party

I’m having a bit of a pity party today. Part of me even has the audacity to feel guilty over my pity party, because really, in the grand scope of things, my stuff is pretty trivial.

But the “my” stuff isn’t really “my” stuff at all. It’s bigger than me, and not something I have a lot of control over, or say in. I’m just along for the ride, and right now the ride SUCKS.

So many of my friends are hurting over so many different things. Last week involved 2 different kids being diagnosed with cancer. This week includes some big changes where a number of my friends work. There are huge, scary, lingering unknowns out there for all of these folks, and I’m hurting and frightened for them. I want to fix things, and make it all be better, and I can’t. And I hate it.

I want to look each of them in the eye and say “It’s all going to be fine!” but you can’t do that. You don’t know that. It’s scary, and overwhelming, and consuming me from the inside.

I’ve cried a lot today. I’ve also had a 3 Musketeers and a Cherry Coke. I’ve used about a million tissues, and undoubtedly look like something even the cat wouldn’t bring in. And none of that is going to change anything. None of that is going to help any of the people who are hurting, and who need some support, or answers, or whatever they need. It’s certainly not making me feel better. But it seems to be all that I can do right now. Cry.

So, I’m going to push on for now. That’s all I can do. Be thankful for the good in my life, do my best to hold up my friends, and push on. What else is there, right?

Yesterday

It should be such a good week.

It WAS such a good week.

I finally treated myself to a DSLR camera, which I had wanted for a very long time, and just couldn’t justify. It was a want, not a need, and let’s face it moms, wants aren’t typically at the top of our “get” list.

It was finals week, and I was feeling good about my classes, and getting to take a few weeks off before summer session starts.

School is nearly over, and it’s time for the fun, year-end stuff. We’ve been planning a fun trip to an amusement park for the 6th grade, and we’ve had a blast with fundraising. We go on Tuesday, and I’m super-excited.

And then? Yesterday happened.

Part of yesterday I cannot yet talk about specifically. I know that I have friends who are hurting, and that there will be more hurt before healing comes. I’m hurting. A relationship, one that we hoped would grow and flourish, and be wonderful for so many people, is being pulled apart. Not by the parties in that relationship, but by others, higher up, who don’t know. Who don’t understand. It’s painful, and going to get worse.

And after spending time with some of those most directly impacted, wounded by what is coming, I came home and found more bad news.

Naomi, a sweet two year old little girl who lives in my community with her mom, dad, her four year old sister and one year old brother, was just diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Another baby, whose life is now forever changed by the monster that is childhood cancer. Another family, stopped in their tracks, and entering a new normal, on that involves oncologists, MIBG, CT, TPN, DX, stem cell rescue, chemotherapy, radiation, and hopefully sooner rather than later, NED.

It was enough to destroy me last night. I lost it.

Today? It’s enough to strengthen my resolve. Reaffirms for me that, no matter what, I cannot stop fighting for these kids. All the kids.

Tomorrow is a new day, with new challenges and new successes.

I need a few successes for a minute, though. Please.

Home Stretch!

I know I wrote about it a little bit before, but I wanted to throw this out there – we’re just 5 days away from shave day, and have $400 to go to hit our final goal of $3,000!

Incredibly proud of this boy.

www.StBaldricks.org/participants/JeepM

Such a proud momma…

So…

That boy? The one that just turned twelve?

He has insisted on stealing my heart.

I mentioned in his birthday post that he was growing his hair out to donate it. Today he told me this:

On April 26th, we’re going to join some students at Indiana University and he’s going to take part in a St. Baldrick’s event, shaving his head to raise money and awareness for pediatric cancer.

This decision was not one he took lightly, and I’m so impressed with him, I can’t begin to describe it to you. His hair has become such a big part of his identity, and let’s face it, it’s tough being a tween/teen. This was something he slept on, thought about, and decided he was willing to do.

I am so proud of him. I can’t begin to explain it.

Anyway – if you would like to donate, we’d love that, but if you can’t donate, would you consider sharing his donation site via your social media  of choice? Each tweet or FB post reaches out to someone else, and if we raise nothing more than awareness for the kids who are fighting cancer, that’s one more step.

Jeep’s St. Baldrick’s Fundraising Page

Thanks!

When Facebook is faceless…

I’m grasping for a little normalcy, which I think is funny because it’s tax season, and I don’t remember what normal looks like in tax season. I’ve been sick, which doesn’t happen often, certainly not to the level that I was this last few weeks. I’ve started my next two courses and have decided already that I may well be in over my head.

I decided today that I was going to take a little break from Facebook. Every time I logged in, I was inundated with posts about how stupid someone is for not agreeing with someone else’s position. On guns, abortion, Presidents, stem cell research, what basketball team is best, what Kardashian is prettier, whatever. People have lost the ability to recognize that each of us are different, and have different opinions, and that that’s ok. And frankly? People are mean about it, mostly because they’re hiding behind a computer screen.

And I’m over it.

I used to really enjoy logging in to Facebook – people shared a funny story, or a cute picture, or shared that they were getting engaged. Sometimes, people shared that they weren’t having a very good day, or that they had lost a loved one. I spent much of December asking for prayers and well-wishes for my own family as we lost my grandmother, and nearly lost my grandfather. We wished old friends  happy birthday, thanks to a friendly reminder in the corner. Even spirited debate was held in a friendly, conversational way.

Now? My feed is overflowing with negativity. And it’s crushing me.

And so I decided that was stupid. Why let something so silly leave me feeling so negative all the time? Why log in looking for something fun, light and joyful, and log off feeling angry and depressed?

So, for now, I’m done. I’ll be back, I’m confident of that. But not until I’m in a better place for it.

Do you have a Facebook? Have you ever felt like you just needed to walk away?

Tapestry

I can’t even find the right ways to say it.

It’s the circle of life. A life begins, another ends, it’s how it works.

Right now, though? Those I see ending are so young. It’s so tragic.

Yesterday, as we gathered around our tables, a family gathered around and wept at the tragic loss of a little boy, barely more than a toddler.

Last night, a sweet baby girl came into the world.

For many months now, I’ve prayed for Ian, the oldest child of Alison. He’s been battling cancer, and recently completed his course of treatment. Alison is due to deliver any time, but dampening that joy is the knowledge that her 4 year old nephew’s time is short, as he is losing his battle against (a different) cancer.

My sister-in-law apologized for store-bought cookies at our gathering, as she spent the day before with the family of a young lady as they laid her to rest.

The loops, the threads weaving in and out. I know it is all part of the tapestry, that there is a design far larger and more beautiful than I can see from this seat. My view of this portion of the loom is so small in relation to the whole piece.

I just wish that the threads could be longer. It’s the short threads that leave the frayed ends.

I’m me, you’re you, and that’s awesome.

So, it’s an election year.

Apparently, this means it’s time to all pick sides, and then stand on our respective side while making faces and generally being mean to those who are on the other side. There’s lots of name calling, finger pointing, posturing and generally brattiness.

At least, that’s what I see. A lot of people acting towards each other in ways that, were my children doing it, would result in serious repercussions. The people who post about how horrible bullying is turn right around and do it in the name of politics. Or religion. Or chicken sandwiches. Or whatever.

I posted this to my personal FB page a couple months ago, because I was so.flipping.tired. of the rhetoric being thrown about. I’m still tired of it. I’m a big fan of people being able to be individuals. Of us having different opinions on things, different ideas of what’s right and wrong. It’s part of what makes us great, and helps us grow as a society.

I don’t want to be just like you.

I don’t want you to be just like me.

I want you to be you. I like me the way I am, and I like you the way you are! We don’t have to agree on everything for me to KNOW you’re a great person!

It’s OK for us to just be ourselves.

So, without further ado, my thoughts from earlier this year.

I've avoided saying much, but it's kind of a big deal, and I have opinions. Like everyone else, I'm afforded the right to share them.
I am not opposed to marriage equality.
I know lots of people who are, and for the most part, we are all respectfully agreeing to disagree. I'm cool with that.
I do NOT, in any way, support hate or intolerance of differing opinions. You don't like my opinion, that's cool, but don't attack me for it. In turn, I may not like or agree with your opinion, but I won't attack you for it.
You want to support a business because you agree with the publicly stated views of an executive, great! Please be respectful of others. You want to boycott a business because of those stated views, great! Please be respectful of others.
Our problem here is not marriage equality, gender equality, Republican, Democrat, Christian, Atheist, Pagan, blah blah blah. Our problem?
A complete and total lack of respect, both for others and for ourselves.
There's my two cents.

Taking Back My House

Despite my deepest wishes, I do NOT have a million dollars. As a direct result, I am unlikely to get a housekeeper anytime soon.

I do, however, have three perfectly capable children.

What I don’t have is a good system. I have floundered and fumbled my way through trying to work out a rhythm, and I just tend to end up frustrated.

I also have an X-Box that my aforementioned children are driving me nuts over. It becomes a battle and a half every day to make sure they do SOMETHING useful before they play. Once we’ve hit a point where they get to play, then we’re going to argue about how LONG they get to play.

I’m sure this is not just my house. (I hope. Please, tell me it’s not just my house. Even if you have to lie, dang it, tell me it’s not just my house.)

So, I spent half the day today playing around on Pinterest, where I found some cool chore charts. And I downloaded printables. I read instructions. And finally? I decided that none of what I was finding was really going to work for me.

We have some “static” chores – the everyday things that the kids need to do. Then we have some household chores that I’m more relaxed about – they need to be done, but I don’t care who does them.

So? They’re worth points. And the points can be exchanged for playing time. The kids have to do the “static” chores to earn any points, but once those are done, nothing is holding them back! Each point is worth 10 minutes of playing time, and some chores are worth more points than others. Easy chores, like dust off the TV, those are 1 point chores. Wiping down the bathroom sink is 2 points, sweeping the floor is 3 points.

We’re going to see how this goes, but to get things started, here are a couple of quick photos of what I put together :

Keep your fingers crossed that this works! If When it does, I’ll give you more details on how I put my chore system together!

Tag-Team Crazy

Remember when I was telling you about needing a straight jacket?

I’m sitting in my office, having just played with the online classes orientation process, while downloading files I need to handle the primary fundraiser at school, and answering periodic phone calls for the actual job thing.

I just sat back for a second, blinking. (For one thing, my contact lenses are dried to my eyeballs, and if I didn’t blink soon, they were never going to come back out.)

What I didn’t know yet, when I decided to go ahead and take 3 classes this fall, was that my husband was pretty intent on being more involved in the PTO. The one that I’m treasurer of. The one that didn’t have a president. At least, not until he volunteered. And meant it.

I’m both excited and nervous at this point – for one thing, I think getting more dads involved in the PTO is great- I hope we’ll find that with this guy tackling stuff, along with the already super-involved dad that we talked in to being the VP, we’re going to find more and more dads participating. If nothing else, I hope that seeing these guys take a lead role will be great for some kids who maybe don’t have a great father figure in their lives.

The nervous? That’s a LOT of pressure in our household. There are a ton of PTO projects that rely on some serious organization, planning, participation… There are a number of other really great people who I know will be there to help pull it all together, but between the two of us, that is a lot of responsibility. And I’ve made it very clear to him – I can’t do both roles. He wants to step up and do this, great! But he has to do it. I can’t be everything I need to be, plus be him too.

So, welcome to a year of crazy. A year of trying new things, expanding horizons, and praying for sanity. Because I keep looking at my piles and hoping that sanity can find me somewhere buried in them!

Are you involved in your school’s PTO/PTA? Do you make it a family affair?

Seeking a Sign

We’ve all wondered if we’re doing the right thing when making a major decision. Sometimes the pressure of it all is overwhelming.

I’ve spent the last few months wrestling with the idea of going back to school. I worry that I’m shortchanging my family by investing this much more time into something other than them. I worry about my job, and being able to balance my time well. Same with my volunteer work with the school.

I went ahead and bit the bullet, registering for classes this week. Even after making that commitment, I still found myself with butterflies in my stomach.

This morning, I was playing around online, checking out Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook, and encountered several things that made me smile. A hypothetical letter from a father to a son, showing love and compassion. A set of photos posted to “restore your faith in humanity”. Friends and strangers voting and sharing the link to help our school earn Target gift cards.

Lots of feel-good stuff. And I did. I felt good. I felt positive. Those things went wonderfully with my cup of coffee.

Then, I looked into my back yard. Flitting about along the railing of my deck?

A hummingbird.

My grandmother passed away 5 years ago. She loved hummingbirds, to the extent that her three granddaughters knew immediately that a hummingbird tattoo was a beautiful, fitting tribute. We each bear one on our right shoulder.

I’m sitting here, right now, with a feeling of such peace. I watched that hummingbird as it danced around my deck for three or four minutes. And I knew.

I’m doing the right thing.

There is still good in this world, I have the blessing of my Nanny, and I’m doing the right thing.

Anyone have a Straight Jacket I can Borrow?

I may have pushed myself in to a new level of crazy.

It’s back to school time, which means back to PTO stuff time. I’m also going to be leading tax school students for work, heading out for convention next month, and taking some time off with my husband to work on some things around the house that desperately need done.

So, it makes total sense to go back to school myself, right?

That’s what I thought too.

I’m going to meet with an advisor for the first time on Tuesday, but I’ve completed my FAFSA, applied, been accepted, and have taken my initial placement exams.

I know it’s the right thing to do, and the time really isn’t going to get much better than now. The kids are all old enough to understand when I have to deal with homework, papers and exams. The husband is already super-dad, accustomed to taking it all on during tax season, and is our primary cook all year. My boss is totally on board, and super supportive.

I know I can do this – I can successfully balance work, home, PTO and school of my own. I’m sure it will have it’s rough points, but life always does. But honestly? I’m nervous. I haven’t taken an actual class in 15 years. I’m pretty used to running the show, so being the student may not come very easily.

Oh, and the first sentence of that last paragraph? The one where I’m confident I can balance it all? Was I convincing to you? Because I’m still trying to convince me.

Prayers and Parenting

As did so many of us, I woke this morning to the reports of tragedy in Colorado.

So much violence, so many lives changed.

There was a great deal of conversation on social media about the ages of some of those attending, as the media had latched on to the 3 month old who was injured in the shooting. Or not injured, but taken to the hospital as a precaution. I’m not really sure, as the media reports on the child are conflicting as I write this. Either way, a 3 month old was present at this midnight showing, as were (reportedly) kids ranging in ages like six and nine. The mere presence of the infant has caused a bit of grumbling amongst the masses.

Lots of armchair parenting, frequently from people who are not parents themselves.

Here’s the thing, from my perspective. I have two sons, nine and 11, and a daughter who is eight. We go to drive-in movies, and by their mere nature, the first movie doesn’t start until around 10:00pm, and the second movie of the drive-in double feature usually wraps up between 1:30 and 2:00am. We have made it a point, as part of our summer, to attend at least one drive-in show each year since 2007, when my daughter was 3.

Now, I recognize that the drive in is “different” and more “family friendly” than going to something like a midnight release of Dark Knight Rising, but there’s some transition here, so bear with me a minute, k?

When one becomes a fan of a franchise like Batman, or Harry Potter, or Star Wars or Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or whatever it is that you’ve picked, there are experiences that you may have that are opportunistic. There are times when you KNOW you can join up with like-minded people and share in those experiences. Premieres? They count. And kids? Like Batman. We don’t go to movie theaters as a general rule, but if my sons were WAY into the Batman franchise? We could have been at a theater last night.

Young people, maybe even new parents, also could be way into Batman. And little ones? They’re pretty easy to keep satisfied. They also already have totally whacked sleep schedules, meaning said parents also have totally whacked sleep schedules. Do I think taking the infant to the movie was wrong?

Nope.

I think you had a parent or parents who wanted to get out, enjoy the experience, and took the baby with them. I know LOTS of parents who are not comfortable entrusting their newborn with someone else, or who are exclusively breastfeeding, or whatever, and so they go and do things, and experience life, WITH THEIR CHILD. Because that’s how they’ve chosen to parent. And good for them. Good for them for living their lives, and still being parents. Who am I to judge that? Yes, even at midnight. I’d certainly prefer that to the parent arrested in my town yesterday after her two year old died from traumatic brain injuries and allegations of horrible abuse came out. I prefer it to the disengaged parents who don’t interact with their children at all. I prefer it to the parents I’ve read about who leave very young children at home alone, or in a vehicle, while they go on and do the things they want to do.

Does that mean it’s right for everyone? Nope. Perhaps it’s not the choice you or I would have made, perhaps our parenting styles are different. But what is right for you or me may not be for someone else. 

It is our differences that help us raise our children to be strong, unique individuals. The differences that help us learn and grow as a society.

If we spent less time pointing fingers at what we perceive as parenting failures by others, and more time BEING parents to our own kids, this world would be a better place.

For now, I suggest we hold the people of Aurora, the families and friends of all those affected, in our thoughts and prayers. Pray for the survivors, for healing and for hope. And hug those you love, for we never know what tomorrow may hold.