Saturday, December 10, 2011

Exploring the Pieces

Every comment.

The tweets of support.

Each time I’ve read the words that I wrote.

You guys, the tears have been pretty prevalent. Those were hard to write. It was REALLY hard to hit publish. What I put here? These are my memories. This place is my journal, where I can record my life. My kids’ childhood. The things I WANT to remember, to see? I want them to be the happy things.

But real life isn’t always happy. And I promised myself when I started this that I was going to be real.

The pain? The anger?

It’s real. It’s more real than I could ever imagine.



Knowing that it was time to put it here meant it was time to find other answers too. It was not something that I was going to be able to fix.

That was hard, too.

I’m his mom. I should be able to fix it. And I failed.


I did, however, take advantage of some resources. I’ve had a couple of conversations, he’s had a conversation. Not with each other, not about this, not yet. But we’re working on it, and we have help with it.

So, thank you. Thank you for understanding, for supporting, for encouraging, for praying. Don’t stop yet, we’ve got a long way to go, and it comforts me to know that you’re out there pulling for us.

We’re going to get there, though. Because I won’t fail completely. There are too many people out there ready to help carry me.


  1. So glad to hear you are taking the steps and finding what will work best for you, your son, and the rest of the family. Do not consider this a failure at being a mother, it is just a bump in the road and you will recover and be stronger. You are in my thoughts. Hugs,

  2. If there Is anything I can do, even just listen, I am here.

    Praying. Knowing He hears and will give you what you need.

    Love you.