Thursday, December 2, 2010

Keeping it Real

I’d like to stomp my foot and pout for just a doggone minute.

Because, frankly, I’m annoyed.

With myself, mostly, which means I can’t even scowl at someone and say such loving things as “Look! Look what you went and did!” (Unless, of course, I look in the mirror and do that. At which point, my husband might have me committed.)

I want to write. I want to share. I want to commune with all of the lovely, wonderful, supportive people out there.


I sit down.

And no words come.

And the ones that do? They’re stupid.

So, I don’t share them.

I want my camera, so that I can see my life from a different angle. When I look at the images I capture through that lens, I get perspective. I don’t know why. It’s just the way it is.

I keep trying, with my cell phone. Know what I get?

A chance to smile about getting to take all the kids to a basketball game the other night. One where they had so much fun, I couldn’t catch a single image that wasn’t blurry. (Cell phones and shutter speeds. ‘Nuf said.)

I’ve been SO down on myself lately. Obviously, not just about the camera thing, although this whole “Holiday Season with No Camera” thing is really starting to get old, but just STUFF. There’s so much to do, and I don’t want to do any of it. The house is a mess; I don’t care. There’s work that needs done; isn’t there always. My hair needs washed; why, so I can throw it into a ponytail?

Just blah.

But, I’m working on it. So, you might get to read some really crappy stuff. Maybe I’ll give myself a break on the thinking part, and do a couple weeks of BlogHops or something, something to get the creative juices flowing again.

(Or until Santa puts a new camera under my tree.)

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1 comment:

  1. Oh Megan. I wish I could magically make everything better. I know you've had a rough couple of months. Hopefully when E's baby comes you'll get lots of snuggle time to cheer you up. Babies make me smile. Until then, open a bottle of wine. Cheers! :)