Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Speak up, or Let it Ride?

The first time I ever saw the term, I knew immediately that we all knew a few of them. We all hope to avoid them, but it’s inevitable. We’re going to be stuck with one or two (at LEAST) in our years as mothers.

We pray that we never find ourselves being one.

Motherbitches – a term coined by Shell at Things I Can’t Say.

Here’s the deal. My girl plays softball, and due to a variety of circumstances, the leagues are set up this year with kids from 5-8 years old on teams together in one league, and then 9-12 plays in another league. Last year, there were four leagues – 5/6, 7/8, 9/10 and 11/12. My girl is on a 5-8 team. That means that there are girls on the team who have never played softball and are only 5, and there are girls who are 8 and in their fourth year as players.

HUGE skills gap.

No biggie to me- my daughter only started last year, and while she’s made huge strides in her skill set, she still has a lot to learn, and honestly, she’s picking up a ton by just observing when they are working with the younger girls.

I have a couple of those big 5-gallon drink dispenser cooler things. You know – the kind you see on construction trucks and stuff. It can get crazy hot here in the summer, and I bring a jug of ice water to every game. Hydration is important! I provide cups for every girl, they’re welcome to help themselves, I clean up the cups after the game, yadda yadda. The point is, I make sure that there is water, enough for everyone, if they want it.

So, my daughter has made a couple mentions of how a pair of moms who help in the dugout “were mean to so-and-so, and yelled at her that she had to pay attention” after a little girl didn’t catch the instruction of a base coach and ended up tagged out. I shook off the comments, having not heard the exchange, and wondering if instruction was just being misconstrued.

Then, at a practice a couple weeks ago, the littlest girl on the team ran up and hugged me and said “I’m so glad you’re one of our coaches again!” (I had helped in the dugout a couple times when we were short-handed.) I didn’t think much about it, until she said something about liking me a lot more than the other ladies, and even then, I shrugged it off.

This last week, though, Sis was talking to me as we were driving home after her game, and she said to me “Mommy? “A”’s mom said tonight that she didn’t know why you kept bringing that jug since most of the girls bring a drink, and “L”’s mom laughed, and she sounded really mean about it.”


You want to gossip about other moms, and don’t even have the sense to do it when the girls are out in the field? You’re going to do it with them in the dugout with you?


So, now I’m trying to decide – if I say something to them, or to the coach, what do I say to not be a motherbitch? How do I approach this? The coach thanks me after each game and each practice for bringing the water, and I think he’s sincere, but if it’s an issue, it’s not like I *have* to lug 5 gallons of water to each game. Do I say anything at all, or just let it go, knowing we  only have a few weeks left? What if they’re talking about other moms in front of their daughters too? Or if they really are being mean to the girls, instead of being supportive and helping them learn? Am I over-reacting? After all, I’m working off a story told to me by an eight year old.

Hopefully, I’ll decide on something, even if the something is to do nothing, before 5 or so because we’re headed to the ballpark.


Linking this up with Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out, because, well, that seemed doggone appropriate, since I stole her word! And because, frankly, I knew you guys out there would probably have some good ideas as to what the heck I should do, and this is really bugging me.


  1. Some people get older physically, but mentally they never leave high school. I would just leave it be. You're doing something thoughtful for the team, and ensuring that no child will pass out from heatstroke. If those moms approach you and act nasty, then say something, but I doubt they will.

  2. I would keep bringing the water. That's such a petty thing for them to be mean over!

  3. I would keep bringing the water and just let the comments go until they are actually said to you. Because one of these days, one of those girls isn't going to have a drink and then they're going to want your water jug to save the day.

    Stopping by from Shell's PYHO!

  4. I'd say let it go and keep bringing the water too. It's hard to know exactly what they said, and it would stir up more controversy than worth it. The important part is that the kids are staying healthy and hydrated and having fun.

  5. How mean and hurtful! If you feel good about bringing the water and want to keep doing it, then by all means do it! Those motherbitches are just feeling jealous about your thoughtfulness and popularity.

  6. bring the might need to dump it all over those mother bitches!

  7. I hate motherbitches and I'd have a hard time being quiet about it. I think I'd make sure to say something to the coach in front of the motherbitches. I'd say, "Hey, Coach. Just wondering, do you still think it's a good idea to bring the water jug? I don't mind doing it and I think the girls appreciate it but if you don't think it's necessary, I can stop." Then I'd glare at them. They remind me of the meanie moms from The New Adventures of the Old Christine TV show.